Changes Part 1

thoughtsoutoftheblue.blogspot.com

Today is my husband's 31st birthday. In a month I will be following him and turning 31 as well. Even though I still have a month to go I have started reflecting on my last year. A lot has changed since I turned 30.

*A new job
*Three different callings (assignments) at church
*Stopped taking medication for depression
*Added a second car to the family
*Started attending a weekly support group for depression at my church
*Made great new friends

These things have been a factor in either an up swing or a down swing in regards to my depression.

My old job as a nanny was really hard because I was too isolated. The other factor was that I loved the children so much that it became very difficult to not be the mom and only be the nanny. There weren't huge differences in parenting styles but small ones here and there. In the end when I was leaving things got rough for a variety of reasons; some my fault, some not my fault but it shook me up just the same. One of the hardest parts about leaving is that I have not seen the children since.

The different callings at church hasn't been too bad other than my current calling doesn't really allow for a lot of personal spiritual development at church. My focus is on if we have teachers and who is where and when do they need to be there.

When I originally started taking medication it was supposed to be for a small amount of time so I could learn some coping strategies and then move on. In the end I was on medication for four years. I choose to go off of medication for a lot of reasons and I don't regret doing so. It was hard for me to always have to remember to take my pills, take them with me when I traveled, check before I took anything else to see if there would be an adverse reaction to mixing medications etc etc. Since going off the medication I have been wishy washy on doing things that are good for me.

Adding a second car has only been a good thing. Even money wise it hasn't been too much on an adjustment because we paid off my car shortly after purchasing Eric's car. Eric has had to commute to DC for the last 5 months and not having to take him to the train station or pick him up has allowed life to go much smoother for all involved.

When the group at my church was started I was asked specifically to attend. I would have gone anyway but the special invitation made me feel all the more welcome. Through this group I have made a few really great friends. I will admit there have been nights when the group might not have been the most helpful. But because of  the relationships that I have gained from the group that has made the not as great nights worth it. There is a great balance between talking and hanging out as girlfriends and then really learning about and working on depression. I love that I can go and know I am not alone in my battle with depression and also talk about treating depression in the context of my religious faith.

All of these have been really big changes that affected me and now I need to find the courage to make changes that will affect me in positive ways as I work to pull myself out of the slump I have been in for the past month.