"Goals" by Brian Tracy

I have mentioned this book in a few previous posts but today I actually finished it. Back in December it was recommended to Eric and I as part of our real estate training for our business and I would read it in bits and pieces. I finally decided to just sit down and read the book. Overall it was a great book. It is more geared to success in business/sales but I did find pearls for success in life as well. One area that I need to work on is picking something and going at it with gusto until I am able to accomplish the goal. Tracy talks about it being a definite major purpose (Tracy borrowed the phrase from Napoleon Hill). I don't always commit to things easily. I am worried that I will make a choice and then realize later there was something better I could have chosen.  When I do make a choice I then stick my head in the ground and don't want to hear other options for fear of needing to revise. With all of this floating around my head it was hard to pick my major definite purpose. Eric reminded me of the 100 goals we have for us and that those goals are are purpose. Now I just have to pick one and work on it.

In general,  I have a hard time choosing to read informational books because I use reading as a way to check out and to go into a fantasy world where my real world doesn't exist. When I read self-help books my own life is always playing in my mind. Most of the time that is an okay thing but when the depression is really bad it makes me want to scream. Forcing myself to sit down and read this book was a big accomplishment for me and I am proud that I choose to do something a little bit hard.

Changing from the inside out

One of the books I have been reading about being more positive and making changes is "Goals" by Brian Tracy. One of Tracy's ideas is that our personalities have five layers like the rings on a target. The inner most ring is our values, followed by our beliefs, expectations, attitudes and then beliefs. When I was reading this I realized that so often I was trying to change my actions without really looking at how those actions tied into my values. When I failed to connect the two my actions didn't stay consistent. One of the big areas this has been true for me in the last couple of months is daily scripture reading. I have been taught since a child to read my scriptures daily but when my depression gets really bad daily devotion is one of the first things to get cast aside. January was a really tough month for me and I am still working to come out of that fog and pick all of the pieces back up that I let slide during that time. One of the big ones being daily scripture reading. I found I was trying to change my actions because it is something I should do or something everyone else is doing. These are not reason enough to really make a change. When I stopped and really thought about why daily devotion is important I have been able to connect my actions to my values and that has made a huge difference.

I am finding this to be true as I work to be more positive as well. If I am just trying to change my actions it might work but until I am able tie them to values it isn't a lasting change. Now that I am working on being positive as a virtue my actions are staying more consistent with my values.

When I am depressed my values all crumble making it very difficult to keep up with the actions of normal life. Even greater unhappiness follows because my circles aren't lined up. Now I know I sound like I am contradicting myself from my earlier post about action your way into feeling. In normal life this is very true especially with smaller things like cleaning house or doing laundry. When depression gets thrown into the mix there are all new rules. Sometimes acting first helps but sometimes that makes it worse. Depression is a beast all of it's own.

Think, Feel, Do

Once a week I attend a Depression Support Group that my ward (congregation) sponsors here in Baltimore. A few times we have talked about the think, feel, do triangle. Basically our thoughts, emotions and actions are all interconnected and affect each other. At the same time I have been reading the book "Goals" by Brain Tracy. Last night while reading the following quote really made sense to me.

 "You are more likely to act yourself into feeling a particular way than you are to feel yourself into acting." 

I have found this to be very true for myself. When I need to clean my house I have to get up and clean my house whether I feel like it or not. If I try and wait to feel like cleaning my house it is never going to happen. The more I act the way I want to feel the closer I get to actually feeling that way. Each day will be a chance to choose to be happy and to choose to be positive. 

What do you have to act yourself into feeling?